The Magic Kingdom comes to the Emerald Isle

Forget "The Little Mermaid." The void left by the shuttering "Beauty and the Beast" is already being filled at the Hilton Theatre by a musical that is every bit as Disney -- it just doesn't admit that it is.

I caught the first preview of "The Pirate Queen," the latest from the "Les Miserable" and "Miss Saigon" team Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schonberg, last night. Given that it was a first preview and has a while before opening, I'll naturally be selective in my criticism and try to focus on the things I'm sure will not change before its official opening April 5.

Elizabethan history buffs might be familiar with Grace O'Malley, the Irish clan leader in the sixteenth century who later forged a short-lived truce with Queen Elizabeth I. Well, the Grace O'Malley now at the Hilton -- played by Stephanie J. Block -- seems to be her as imagined by Michael Eisner. Every bit as plucky and lovely as any of the other Disney princesses, O'Malley swashbuckles and grapples as well as any man in an era in which women were not given respect. Yes, that theme is hammered in throughout the show to the point where it seems like every character is the ancestor of those people destined to find themselves watching mandatory workplace sexual harassment training videos today.

All the other stock characters are there, too: wise, benevolent father Dubhdara (the excellent Jeff McCarthy); handsome suitor Tiernan (Hadley Fraser); the vain wuss who Grace must marry, Donal O'Flaherty (Marcus Chait); and the scheming, Snidely Whiplash-esque villain, Sir Richard Bingham (William Youmans). Even Her Majesty (Linda Balgord) is reduced to a shrieking Cruella de Vil in the first act, although her character is given a much better treatment in the second act. I kept waiting for a talking animal sidekick to appear for Grace.

The result is an entirely too broad story, with heroes and villains so black and white that they make a "Dick Tracy" comic look nuanced. Foreshadowing is done with such a heavy hand that I could not only pick out which characters were going to die, but I also could pick out the order in which they would die.

While the story structure seems familiar, it becomes even more familiar at the hands of Boublil and Schonberg. Many of the melodies will seem familiar to "Les Miz" fans. The opening motif sounds almost beat-for-beat like an echo of "Do You Hear The People Sing?". And many of the standard B&S conventions are used, such as the counterpoint confrontation scene that inevitably happens between Grace and Donal.

Some of the tunes are quite lovely. One of Grace's early numbers, "Woman," particularly stands out, as does the duet for Grace and Tiernan, "Here on This Night," Elizabeth's driving "She Who Has All" and Tiernan's "I'll Be There," even though the latter has the misfortune of sharing a motif with the Miss America theme. Others, like Donal's "Boys'll Be Boys," a drinking song reminiscent of "Master of the House," would be better served on the cutting room floor. Much of the rest is rather forgettable. And overall, the lyrics are so banal and predictable that it's easy to see the coming rhyme long before the singing character ever reaches it.

The show's shortcoming are in no way the fault of the actors. Block is talented and doesn't disappoint. Fraser is a nice discovery, and Balgord does great work in the horribly constructed role of Queen Elizabeth. Youmans' character is the most cartoonish, but his acting skills still come through. Chait's performance is the most problematic, as his villainy is so without cause that it actually brought applause when he died. No one applauded when Thuy or Javert died. Even Thenardier, who had no redeeming qualities, is an audience favorite.

I have little comment on the technical aspects, as those are undoubtedly a work in progress. Mostly, the show seems to be in good shape in that regard, although something needs to be done to improve the sound quality in the cavernous Hilton. Elizabeth's soprano numbers were particularly difficult to understand at times.

Despite the similarities, this isn't Disney, and without Disney's marketing muscle, I don't know what's going to happen for this show. While it wasn't my cup of tea, the people, mostly tourists, around me -- I always eavesdrop on the way out of a performance -- adored it. The producers have done what I consider a pretty wise strategy of offering discount $25 for all seats during early previews, in an effort I can only assume to fill the house and build word-of-mouth. Possibly it will work. While I can't imagine going back to see this show when paying more than $25, maybe it will catch on with tourists who will overlook its weaknesses and survive. I wouldn't begrudge it success. I'll make this prediction, however: The critics are going to tear this show to pieces.

At any rate, if Grace O'Malley is still around come next fall, Ariel might have to fight a bit harder for her target audience. But at least she has that singing crab.