OK, I knew I had lost some weight since moving to New York, but my God I was fat! Just look at my face. As a comparison, here's a more current, post-weight-loss photo:
OK, ignoring how greasy I look...and I had always hoped that if I had anything in common with Oprah, it would be her ability to give out diamonds as party favors. But this got me thinking back to my attitude toward food in New Jersey. Even though I was working out three times a week or so, I was largely sedentary. Still, I never felt like I was getting enough food. I probably eat half of what I ate when I ate there. But there's a reason for that.
I don't know if there's a such thing as reverse anorexia, but if there is, I had it. As a kid, I was quite skinny. I was a picky, to be sure, but I ate well when it was something I liked. That didn't stop everyone -- friends, family, nosy adults -- from telling me I was too skinny, gangly, sickly or whatever other adjective that came to mind.
I felt like I was never eating enough, so I ate horribly in order to compensate. Even as my weight started to creep up when I hit college, the feeling that I wasn't eating enough still lingered. I would eat when I wasn't hungry because I thought I had to do it to be healthy. It wasn't until I put myself on a calorie-counting diet that I realized how wrong I had been. Think about that before you tell one of those hackneyed "can't see you sideways" or "slide you under the door" jokes to a kid like this:
3 comments:
I think we're all our own worst critics. The photo of you with Miss LuPone is simply wonderful.
Please. To be sure, you're much smaller now but...fat? Hell no. I was fat. :-)
Even though I didn't want to stop eating (during my "fat" period), I just began the "two finger" diet.
Worked like a charm.
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