More than a mere theme song

Rather than obsess over the election returns tonight (although a very happy buh-bye to Ricky Santorum), I'm going to once again follow Mr. Southern Boy Eric's lead and mapping out the soundtrack for my life movie. Not surprisingly, it turned out very, very Broadway. Much more Broadway than my iPod actually is, I might add. But fortunately, none of the truly embarrassing songs came up. And I skipped nothing.

The rules:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: "Get Higher" - Black Grape
This is kind of an obscure song on my iPod. Basically, it's about smoking pot, splicing in the words of Ronald and Nancy Reagan. But mostly, it's about smoking pot. Hmmm...

Waking Up: "I'd Give My Life For You" - Lea Salonga & Company (from "Miss Saigon," London cast)
Ah, nothing like waking up to an ominous pledge of protection to your bastard, half-breed child. Maybe Lea's playing my mother? That would be pretty hot.

First Day at School: "Miss Celie's Pants" - LaChanze & Company (from "The Color Purple" original Broadway cast)
I do not remember what I wore on my first day of school. Maybe it was the stylish slacks that Celie designed.

Falling In Love: "Bitch, Bitch, Bitch" - The ensemble of "Jekyll & Hyde" (concept recording)
Oh, dear lord. Yes, I pick anyone I date to pieces. Which is probably why I'm currently single.

Fight Song: "Song Of The King (Seven Fat Cows)" - From "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"
Maybe this works, because Elvis impersonators always put me in a fighting mood.

Breaking Up: "All The Way" - Billie Holiday
Now this is depressing. Because it would totally work for so many of my breakups, if done in an ironic way.

Prom: "People Like Us" - Toni Collette and Yancey Arias (from "The Wild Party," original Broadway cast)
Great choice, actually, consider what happened prior to my prom.

Life: "Tina" - Nobuo Uematsu
Again, an obscure choice. This comes from a disc of lovely piano arrangements of music from the Final Fantasy series. Tina, known as Terra in the U.S. version of the game, was a half-human, half-magical creature hybrid who spends the game wondering if she will ever be able to love anyone. OK, this is really getting depressing.

Mental Breakdown: "It Takes Two" - Matthew Morrison (from "Hairspray, original Broadway cast)
In my mad state, I make a passionate dash to woo Marissa Jaret Winokur!

Driving: "A Christmas Festival Medley" - Arthur Fiedler, Boston Pops
We played this every damn year in our high school band holiday concerts. I'm not too good at driving in the snow.

Flashback: "Every Movie's A Circus" - Wendy Walter and some others (from "Sunset Boulevard," original Broadway cast)
Starving artists get their dreams torn to shreds. Everybody sing!

Getting Back Together: "You Won't Succeed On Broadway" - David Hyde Pierce (from "Spamalot," original Broadway cast)
In case you don't know, the end of the line is "...if you don't have any Jews." I always knew I'd end up with a Jewish husband!

Wedding: "I'm Still Here" - Yvonne De Carlo (from "Follies," original Broadway cast)
I must be really old by the time I get married. Or just really drunk, and someone is stupid enough to give me the microphone at the reception.

Birth of Child: "Three Little Maids From School Are We" - Dorothy Atkinson and others (from "The Mikado," but actually from the "Topsy-Turvy" soundtrack)
I have triplets! Three girls, filled to the brim with girlish glee. And I send them off to seminary.

Final Battle: "You Gotta Get A Gimmick" - Heather Lee, Kate Buddeke and Julie Halston (from "Gypsy," most recent revival cast)
And the three daughters grow up to be bitter strippers who commit patricide.

Death Scene: "Last Midnight" - Vanessa Williams ("Into The Woods," Broadway revival cast)
Another great choice. I so want to go out in a puff of smoke, telling off everyone around me.

Funeral Song: "She Is A Diamond" - Paul Jones ("Evita," concept album)
"On the other hand, she's all they have. She is a diamond in their dull, gray lives." Will I be mummified and put on display in a glass coffin, surrounded by throngs of poverty-stricken admirers? Sweet!

End Credits: "Journey Through The Classics" - Louis Clark
We close with a swelling London Philharmonic medley of classical tunes, climaxing with Sibelius' "Finlandia." So I'll be the Eva Peron of Helsinki? Sweeter!

So basically, I'm a pot-smoking uber bitch who can't stay in a relationship but ends up to be a beloved Finnish political figure. Kind of like a really gay "King Ralph," I guess. Any backers?

Note: This does not replace my thrilling theme song quest, the search for which still goes on among four competitors.