Tuesday, March 25, 2008

March madness

Jeez, was Danny Noriega's American Idol appearance that offensive? WorldNetDaily columnists have been in a homo-hating frenzy lately. Yesterday, the increasingly self-parodying Chuck Norris pined for the good old days, when people could chop off the nuts of sodomites. Janet Folger whines that anyone had the nerve to say anything bad about disgusting Oklahoma representative Sally Kern--who thinks her apparently non-existant hairdresser is a bigger threat than Osama--and orgasms to the thought of fags dropping dead. Crusty dotard Les Kinsolving wrote something I'm not going to link to or even read about a bisexual bishop. This all on the heels of the Family Research Council's Peter Sprigg's call to deport all gays and lesbians.

But no one beats the unhinged rantings of Olivia St. John. Yeah, I thought that was a General Hospital character who got killed off ages ago, too. No, but sadly, this Olivia St. John is a spiteful homeschool advocate who, in the course of one column, manages to turn back the clock 60 years to the belief that all homos are shady men in the bushes waiting to grab little Timmy on his way home from school.

When will these people ever have the nuts -- the ones not cut off by Chuck Norris, I guess -- to just come out and say what they believe? They want all gay people dead. Executed. The end. They cloak it in some nonsense about Christian compassion, but there is no compassion in their words. They never call for any sort of reasoned debate, just hysterics backed up by tainted research. When people are murdered--like the poor gay kid in California who was shot dead by a bully at school--they don't have a damn thing to say, probably because they're quietly rejoicing.

So go ahead, Olivia St. John. Pull your kids out of school. Keep them away from the homos and the darkies and whoever the hell else frightens your insular worldview. In a few decades, you'll be your own little isolated island of bile while the rest of the world moves on, the Ruby Ridge of the future. We'll still send the garbage trucks and water lines your way. But none of us will talk to you.

6 comments:

Victor said...

Unfortunately some people with these extreme views seem to have significant political influence.

Mike said...

But not as much as they used to, victor, and that's a good thing. In state legislatures they still do, but not so much on the national stage.

Eric said...

You gotta love Chuck Norris longing for elder statesman Thomas Jefferson, presumably, I guess, so he could both castrate faggots with his gun he carries with him everywhere while fucking his black slaves yet still advocating some good ol' fashioned race-hating.
He's a decent fellow, he is.

Mike said...

I thought conservatives wanted celebrities to shut up and sing.

Or shut up and make ab machine infomercials and a formulaic television series in his case.

Doghigh said...

I think sodomy was mainly used to reference oral sex at the time...or at the least was part of the meaning. I guess that means good ole' Chuck has never gone downtown or been visited downtown. Oh that's right...I nearly forgot about the conservative double standards.

Christ, I knew he was an asswipe but I never knew just how covered in shit he actually was...thanks for alerting me to his column!

Mike said...

I'm not convinced that he actually writes his column himself. It mostly seems like stuff fashioned out of Focus on the Family press releases.